I don't think you're in love with me anymore


Your Connection Guide

This Week in the Connection Codes

Hi Reader,

This interview made me want to reach through my computer screen and hug two people.

Zephan and Sarah McMinn shared their Connection Codes journey on the podcast - nearly 20 years of marriage, four kids, and a relationship that looked good from the outside but was slowly suffocating from the inside.

Their story hit me because it's so honest about what happens when we try to love each other without the tools to actually connect.

Picture this:
Zephan and Sarah decide to record a podcast together about their relationship- they make the plan and sit down to start recording. Everything seemed fine. But within minutes, Zephan breaks down and says, "I don't think you're in love with me anymore."

Sarah was shocked. She loved him deeply - but somewhere along the way, they'd learned to manage each other instead of truly seeing each other.

Sound familiar?

The moment everything changed.

They realized something needed to shift and it was through their best friends that they found the Connection Codes.

What I love about their story is how real they get about the first six months after starting Connection Codes. Sarah describes it perfectly: "It felt like we opened Pandora's box and we were just letting it fly."

For years, their go-to argument was Sarah saying, "I'm never enough for you" and Zephan desperately asking for more connection. Round and round they'd go.

But now? Zephan can simply say, "I'm feeling lonely" and Sarah can respond, "What do you need?" without taking it on as her failure.

They're not having fewer emotional conversations - they're having better ones. Instead of complex arguments about mind-reading and unmet expectations, they use simple language: "I feel hurt," "I feel scared," "I feel joy."

As Zephan put it: "We don't need rules anymore. We just endeavor to be safe for one another."

This podcast is a masterclass on connection. Now, as Connection Codes Coaches, Zephan and Sarah bring not only their own experience but wisdom of how to use these tools not only in your marriage but for yourself.

Listen to their full story on this week's podcast →


video preview

What is happening at Connection Codes:

🚢 The Connection Codes Cruise is officially happening!

I can barely contain my excitement about this one. Glenn and Phyllis have been dreaming about this for YEARS, and it's finally becoming reality. Picture this: you're learning these life-changing tools while surrounded by ocean views, connecting deeply with couples and families who truly get this journey you're on.

We're talking about transformation at sea - where you can disconnect from the chaos of daily life and reconnect with what matters most. The intimacy, the breakthrough moments, the friendships that will last long after you're back on dry land.

Limited rooms are available and they're disappearing quickly. If this is stirring something in your heart, don't wait.

The current price is guarenteed through September 19th with a $50 room credit for anyone who books before Sept 12th.

Get all the details and book your spot →

🌍 Glenn & Phyllis are crossing the pond!

Europe, here they come! They'll be bringing Connection Codes to Amsterdam, Norway, and Germany (exact dates coming next week). If you live in one of these countries, this is your chance - hit reply immediately so we can connect you with them!

How incredible would it be to experience this work in your own backyard?

📅 September 9th is going to change everything

I have been teasing for a couple of weeks that we have something BIG coming. And the wait is getting shorter.

If you aren't following us on Instagram, join us there by clicking follow. I will be dropping some hints over the next few days.

Also- if you have tried any of our tools and they have been helpful, say hello! Instagram is where I get to connect most with you through your comments and messages. Come & introduce yourself. Help us spread the word about these life changing tools ❤️

💝 A gift for Dr Glenn & Phyllis

Certified Coach Susana Martinez reached out a few weeks ago and asked if I would intercept a gift for Glenn & Phyllis that she had made. Of course, I was happy to do so, but I was blown away by what was inside.

Susana owns a custom peg doll and nutcracker business and she painted the cutest Dr Glenn - holding a box of Oooos and his perfectly aligned Yeti cup. And she made Phyllis with her signature glasses, holding a wheel. I was smiling from ear to ear when I saw the detail she put in. I knew I wanted to share the joy with everyone.

Susana- you are the best! If you think this would be a fun gift idea- click here to order your own.

(not sponsored at all- just sharing because I love them!)


Connect with Zephan & Sarah

Haven Coaching gives you the tools to safely share your emotions, navigate them with your partner, and build a strong foundation for deep, lasting intimacy. When your connection feels secure, nothing is off limits—you can be fully seen and truly thrive together.


Zephan and Sarah's story reminds me that most relationships aren't failing because people don't love each other - they're struggling because we've never learned how to be safe for each other's emotions.

The teenager who can identify their fear doesn't spiral into anxiety. The spouse who can name their loneliness reaches out instead of withdrawing. The parent who understands their anger can express it safely instead of exploding.

We cannot afford to let another generation grow up emotionally illiterate. Not when we have the tools to change everything.

Sending love to parents everywhere as life gets intense. You don't have to have it all figured out. You just need to stay present in the hard moments and give your family the language for what they're feeling.

Reflection question: Can you tell your partner anything? If the answer is no, what would it take to get there?

Sending you all the love as we wrap this week- it was a heavy one here in the US. Process your experiences as you move into the weekend- clear your brain. And I hope you pause for a moment of connection. It takes effort- but you are worth it. ❤️

Let's do this.


P.S. If you're in those first six months where everything feels like Pandora's box, Zephan and Sarah want you to know: hold on. The other side is worth it. And what we are bringing Sept 9th may be the very thing you are looking for.

Disclaimer: This podcast and newsletter are co-created with a marriage and family therapist, but we are not your therapist. The information shared here is for educational and informational purposes only. If you’re experiencing overwhelming emotions or need personalized support, we encourage you to seek help from a licensed therapist or counselor or a coach. Remember, your emotions matter, and asking for help is a superpower.

Connection Codes ✨

Science-backed tools to regulate your emotions in just 4 minutes. We help individuals improve their health, increase productivity, and have more energy to reach their goals through learning how to process the emotions weighing them down. Download our 4-minute tool here:

Read more from Connection Codes ✨
video preview

Your Connection Guide This Week in the Connection Codes Hi Reader, This summer I spent 10 days in Mexico City with Dr. Glenn and Phyllis. We spoke at conferences, met with business leaders, and worked with one of our certified coaches—Jonathan Hernandez. Jonathan was also our translator. And let me tell you… WHOA. I was already managing nerves around presenting in another country, but Jonathan’s brain was doing double the work—listening, translating, delivering—in real time. I left in awe of...

video preview

Your Connection Guide This Week in the Connection Codes Hi Reader, Wes used to say he wasn’t emotional. Not in an avoidant way- he genuinely didn’t think emotions played a role in how he showed up. But underneath? He was drowning in shame, fear, and loneliness. Six years ago, he was burned out from being an entrepreneur, exhausted from hustle culture, and unsure of what came next.Now? He’s chasing joy.Like- real, soul-filling, fully alive kind of joy. In this week’s podcast episode, Wes and I...

Your Connection Guide This Week in the Connection Codes Hi Reader, I know. It’s been a minute. Four weeks since I’ve sent a newsletter—and I’ve missed you. Honestly? I’ve had a little writer’s block. Not because I didn’t have anything to say (ohhh, there’s so much), but because I didn’t know how to jump back in. How do you sum up a summer like this? But here’s what I’ve learned: you don’t have to say everything perfectly. You just have to show up. So… hi. I’m here. And I want to catch you up...