Rewiring how we relate to anger—so it fuels change instead of fear.

Reader,

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I have a confession: anger is my favorite emotion.

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That might sound strange, but hear me out. Anger moves me. It drives me. It lets me know when something isn’t right—when a boundary has been crossed, when something needs to change.

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But anger is also one of the most misunderstood emotions.

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Men are often taught that anger is the only emotion they’re allowed to feel—so they lean into it, sometimes aggressively, without recognizing the layers underneath.

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Women, on the other hand, are often taught to never show their anger—so they suppress it, pushing it deep down, afraid of how they’ll be perceived.

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The result? None of us actually know how to access what’s really happening inside us.

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This week on the podcast, I sit down with trauma-informed coach Echo Vetter to unpack what most of us were never taught—how to process anger in a healthy way.

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We dive into:
🔥 The difference between core anger and secondary anger (and why we often misdefine it).
🔥 How unprocessed anger lives in the body, showing up as chronic pain, stress, or emotional shutdown.
🔥 Why anger actually exists to protect us—not destroy us.
🔥 How to partner with anger instead of fearing it, so it fuels the change we need.

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Phyllis also shares her deeply personal journey of storing anger for decades—the toll it’s taken on her health, and the fear that facing it might damage her closest relationships.

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But here’s the truth: anger is not the problem. Ignoring it is.

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🎧 Click here to listen to this week’s podcast on YouTube!​

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Or click on your favorite place to listen:

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💡 Here’s something to reflect on:

How were you taught to handle anger growing up? Do you suppress it? Explode? Avoid it altogether?

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What would it look like to actually partner with it instead?

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This conversation is powerful. Because when we learn to process anger instead of fearing it, we stop resisting our own energy—and that’s where real change begins.

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Connect with Echo: Echo is a trauma-informed coach & co-creator of the Connection Codes. She offers one-on-one coaching and also shares her experiences and all she is learning about being human through her newsletter. ​ Connect with Echo Here

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Let's do this.

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Disclaimer: This podcast and newsletter are co-created with a marriage and family therapist, but we are not your therapist. The information shared here is for educational and informational purposes only. If you’re experiencing overwhelming emotions or need personalized support, we encourage you to seek help from a licensed therapist or counselor or a coach. Remember, your emotions matter, and asking for help is a superpower.

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