Reader,

For years, I didn’t realize that Wes and I were codependent.

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If I had a bad day with the kids, he felt guilty for not being home to help. That guilt turned into frustration, which led to him snapping at me. And suddenly—because I was struggling, now he was struggling too.

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And we lived in that cycle for years. If either of us had a bad day, we both had a bad day.

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We weren’t giving each other space to be human. Instead, we were absorbing each other’s emotions like it was our job to fix them.

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And honestly? That’s what a lot of us were taught love should look like.

👉 If your partner is upset, you should feel it too.​
👉 If they’re struggling, you should take it on with them.​
👉 If they’re distant, it must be because of something you did.

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But here’s the truth: We were never meant to carry everything for each other.

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This week on the podcast, Phyllis, Echo, and I are talking about codependency in marriage—how it sneaks in, how it makes relationships exhausting, and what we can do instead.

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We unpack:
🔹 Why we expect our partner to be everything for us—our cheerleader, our therapist, our emotional support system.
🔹 How this unrealistic expectation leads to resentment and loneliness.​
🔹 The moment Wes and I realized we were stuck in this cycle—and what helped us break free.
🔹 How the Connection Codes tools help couples depend on each other without reacting to each other’s emotions.

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🎧 Click here to listen to this week’s podcast on YouTube!​

Or click on your favorite place to listen:

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💡 Here’s something to reflect on:

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If you’ve ever felt disappointed because your partner wasn’t meeting all of your needs, ask yourself:

💡 Am I expecting them to wear too many hats?​
💡 Am I absorbing their emotions instead of just holding space?​
💡 Am I feeling abandoned when, really, they just can’t be everything at once?

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The healthiest relationships aren’t the ones where we carry each other’s emotions like a burden—they’re the ones where we see each other fully and allow space to just be.

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This episode will help you break free from the exhaustion of codependency and start building a marriage that feels lighter, stronger, and more connected.

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Certified Coaching Summer 2025 If you’ve ever wished you had the tools to help others navigate emotions, break unhealthy cycles, and build deeper connections—this is your chance. The Certified Coaching Program equips you with proven tools to transform not only your own relationships but the lives of those around you. ​ Space is limited & is selling quickly. Get all the details here

Connect with Echo: Echo is a trauma-informed coach & co-creator of the Connection Codes. She offers one-on-one coaching and also shares her experiences and all she is learning about being human through her newsletter. ​ Click Here

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We are here with you cheering you on.

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Let's do this.

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Ps. Phyllis dropped a big undercover announcement at the end of this podcast-- did you hear it? Let us know what you think and how quickly we should get.this.done. 🔥

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Disclaimer: This podcast and newsletter are co-created with a marriage and family therapist, but we are not your therapist. The information shared here is for educational and informational purposes only. If you’re experiencing overwhelming emotions or need personalized support, we encourage you to seek help from a licensed therapist or counselor or a coach. Remember, your emotions matter, and asking for help is a superpower.

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